Alone

Why is the writer alone?  Not physically alone.
I have a dog, and people too.
Why do I feel like I am talking to myself?
I have pondered that question.
I have two theories.
One is; people think I'm rude and afraid.  They do not like my ax.
I do not have an ax.
The other theory is a story.
This is the story:

I found lots of error in my let's call it a church.
But the rule there was "I think" of the thinking process, somethings are impossible to say
but i'll try.  If the conversation there went the way of "I think" the listener would back away
Or those too polite would pray, I think so but I don't know.
When praying one cannot be listening.
Also people there were so busy serving the master,
They had little time for association
Association was one of the rules.  it had to be a rule.
I did not insist on correcting the errors.
Patience is time.
But I listened closely to the Book, ONE BOOK.
I like it very much.
We were studying Job a chapter in THE BOOK.
Job had the worse time.  But his "friends" said, "Job what did you do to deserve all this"
They did not say it to be mean for they were his friends.
We go around in cars.  There were five of us.
I'm foolish, which isn't the worse thing in the world.
But I have a heart and sometimes my heart gets sad.
This time my heart was sad.  so I cried.
I cried in front of the wrong person, who I had got out of the car with.
She asked me Why?  Foolish me answered.  That's why I'm here.
The hurt I was feeling concerned another person, very close.
I am not sorry that what happened happened.
For it made me consider my words  better from then on....
We were back in the car.  Person on the right, person on the left,
Me in the middle, two people in the front.
Why would I talk about my personal family problem in front
Of these people. Good question.  But they were my spiritual family,
Or so I supposed.
So I asked for a little advise.  Was wrong
OK.  So the she beast (sorry Helen, this is a story)
Turned around and said "maybe it's something YOU are doing or not doing"
Now for all you out there addicted to sex, I am sure that is not what she meant.
I do not know what she meant.  But my mind moves way way way? way? way???
to fast so I thought We just finished reading Job, where you not listening?
I used to remember what I said, no profanity, I think I said
(I was not crazy) You are making me crazy, did you not learn from Job?
And why do you not listen?  I was not crazy at the time, just
Quiet, not Borg,  No, I was never Borg.
She cried.  The correct thing to do if you make someone cry
Is to say sorry.  I said sorry.
I forget the part where I dummy slapped her.  The start of a career in dummy slapping.
I hope I am not growing to found of dummy slapping.
How many times after did I think "how could that have hurt? (She had on a thick
Winter Coat)  No! not her face did I slap, it was her shoulder
But in a court of law it was her heavy overcoat I slapped.
My little friend in my head says maybe she has that nerve disease
And I hurt her more than I think, so my apology was authentic.
So this is only the beginning How much time do you have?