Tuesday, July 24, 2012

They shut down my thread....again....


Dear B*****e, 
 
I hate to assume anything without enough evidence but I have the feeling 
you reported my thread for bad content.  Is my opinion bad?  I did not 
write anything that is not true, did I?  
 
I was a witness for a long time.  At first it was difficult to pay the 
best attention to what was said because I raised babies in the truth.  
And after that I had what seemed like narcolepsy during some meetings.  
It took every ounce of energy I had just to stay awake.  
 
Then I got suspicious of the doctrine of Holy Spirit appointment of 
elders.  I saw elders in high appointment that had no tender affection 
at all and I saw brothers with so much humble tender affection 
I had to wonder why they were not appointed.  One brother who fit 
the last description was low income, a little bit gimpy, 
not handsome, but clean, he seemed to be low in intelligence, but he 
was a faithful witness.  He was married and a very good husband 
as far as I know.  His wife was happy.  She was a pioneer 
and he pioneered often.  But he was not an elder.  
James 2:5 1 Corinthians 1:26,27 
 
I witnessed a botched judicial proceedings.  Even the brother who led it 
said later to my friend (this is hearsay, he never apologized to me) 
that they handled it badly.  From the start I knew they had.  I was a 
spiritual mess.  I could not sleep.  I requested the Holy Spirit to please 
show me in the Bible where they were right.  But over and over again 
the spirit anointed me with soothing balm.  The Spirit showed me nothing 
to vindicate them.  But I forgave them, of course.  Well, it was their 
off course action that caused my distress which caused my revelation.  
So I should thank them but I think I won't. I'm sure they would not 
understand.  But I might be wrong.  I think I will wait for 
"paradise" to find out.  
 
After that I was wide awake for ever single syllable that was spoken by 
every single member. I didn't see the wisdom, the love, the faith that 
the society claims it alone has.  At the time it was my husband, who is 
an atheist, who showed me kind understanding with wisdom.   
It was many years after the kingdom hall episode that I left.  
I did not seek apostates out. (there is a scripture 
about Paul, when he had his revelation he did not go to the nations for 
confirmation...that's how I read it... but I can't find it).  So I 
didn't.  Which is a good thing.  
 
Now I am alone.  The "great crowd" doesn't love me.  I know because 
I have not heard from them.  When I was going through my very 
difficult time they left me alone.  If it really was "satan" 
who was leading me away, why did not Jehovah 
send a rescue to me?  All they had to do is keep me busy showing me 
love, consideration, and understanding.  No one did.  
For months, years now, no one did.  No one.  
How can that be explained?  Now I am without friends.  The 
witnesses are cautioned to stay away.  The "appostates" hate me, 
I don't really know why.  Both groups will claim they don't hate me.  
OK.  I suppose that matters to me a little.  
 
I try to speak the truth.  But it is true that speaking the truth makes 
The Truth look bad.  Whose fault is that? 
 

Sincerely, I should probably say what I am thinking as I click "send" 
In Jesus Christ Name 
Nancy 

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