Gold

What is funny about gold Wall Street wants to know.
Where to begin?
Can't eat it.
You can make a pillow out of it
(except like the ones in the museum that are hard).
Can't put it over yourself to keep warm.
It's shiny, but not very pretty.
It doesn't talk.
If enough were in your pocket and you
were swimming, you would drown.
That's not funny?  No, it is not, sorry.
Funny as in NOT VERY HELPFUL
People who are holy in their own eyes don't like me.
Please don't take it personal.