I am not much for defending myself but I am inspired to do so today against the accusation that I am grinding my ax because someone hurt me.
I have been accused by any JW in the mood, of leaving the organization because of a personal reason. If you want to call a search for truth a personal reason, then they are right. But I don't think that's what they mean.
Doubt grew very early is my adventure with the witnesses. I must say that I did not dedicate myself to an organization. I knew my dedication was to God alone.
The first question I had (I was silent the whole time.......the time before I found my voice) was, what are they thinking saying forsake means missing a meeting? I knew Hebrew 25:10 does not mean what they say it means but I needed to pretend it did to be a good witness. I didn't miss meetings much. I think I went to every conventions and circuit assembly even missing all the outings my husband took the children on. I did go to Christmas though! Thanksgiving too! (I didn't get any presents, but I did sneak in a few for the kids - my husband doesn't know how to choose well)(Shut up!). (LOL).
The second curious puzzle I found seemed to come to me by magic. God knew I was questioning what He was doing. I thought if I looked up some history I might make it out was God was up to. There is a library at the Kingdom Hall. I looked in a book. I was just standing there and I picked out a book and opened to a page and read it. It said (I'm paraphrasing) the preaching work will continue as long as Jehovah provides the means. I did not need any inspiration to know it cannot truly be said Jehovah is providing the means. Then I knew there was something wrong.
It is wrong to claim divine intervention where there is no divine intervention. See what happened to Yehoshua. It is perhaps the greatest sin I think. Now I know I am in a place that isn't what it appears to be.
Why do I stay? I stayed because I felt the presence of YHVH in my life. I did not know what to do. One of the first great lessons of the Jehovah's Witnesses is to wait on Jehovah. That is what I did. While I was waiting, it occured to me that the ministry of Jehovah's Witnesses is not loving. How so? We go door to door with a warning and if the person will not respond correctly they will die.
Another seed of doubt that grew in me was the truth about Mr. Rogers. I could not imagine a finer person than he but he wasn't a Jehovah's Witness. Why wasn't he a JW? If he was a JW would he still have a show? I don't know. It was he who got me thinking the best thing to happen to good people in this system who won't give up their lives to the society is die. It is true. The JWs teach that anyone alive when the judgement is here who have rejected God's representative will die. So why are we going house to house finding people who are afaid to die when I knew the scriptures say:
He who loves his own soul is not worthy of me
They do love death
He who will save his own soul will lose it
I also stayed thinking that there were others in the congregation like me who were hungry for the real truth that sets one free. So I did not leave. It was not obvious to me that anyone else had doubts. Doubts you learn to bury. There was one young sister who confessed to me her doubt about recording time spent in the ministry. I told her she is right. It is wrong.
Why is it wrong? It creates class distinctions. That was another contention I had. If two JWs are having a dispute the brothers will always favor the one who works more. I have never tested that, but I experienced it first hand and I think it almost always happens that way. That is not why I left even though all JWs on line assert that it is.
The reason why I finally left is the brothers told me face to face it is the govern body we obey. I know for sure it is Jehovah God I obey.
I have been accused by any JW in the mood, of leaving the organization because of a personal reason. If you want to call a search for truth a personal reason, then they are right. But I don't think that's what they mean.
Doubt grew very early is my adventure with the witnesses. I must say that I did not dedicate myself to an organization. I knew my dedication was to God alone.
The first question I had (I was silent the whole time.......the time before I found my voice) was, what are they thinking saying forsake means missing a meeting? I knew Hebrew 25:10 does not mean what they say it means but I needed to pretend it did to be a good witness. I didn't miss meetings much. I think I went to every conventions and circuit assembly even missing all the outings my husband took the children on. I did go to Christmas though! Thanksgiving too! (I didn't get any presents, but I did sneak in a few for the kids - my husband doesn't know how to choose well)(Shut up!). (LOL).
The second curious puzzle I found seemed to come to me by magic. God knew I was questioning what He was doing. I thought if I looked up some history I might make it out was God was up to. There is a library at the Kingdom Hall. I looked in a book. I was just standing there and I picked out a book and opened to a page and read it. It said (I'm paraphrasing) the preaching work will continue as long as Jehovah provides the means. I did not need any inspiration to know it cannot truly be said Jehovah is providing the means. Then I knew there was something wrong.
It is wrong to claim divine intervention where there is no divine intervention. See what happened to Yehoshua. It is perhaps the greatest sin I think. Now I know I am in a place that isn't what it appears to be.
Why do I stay? I stayed because I felt the presence of YHVH in my life. I did not know what to do. One of the first great lessons of the Jehovah's Witnesses is to wait on Jehovah. That is what I did. While I was waiting, it occured to me that the ministry of Jehovah's Witnesses is not loving. How so? We go door to door with a warning and if the person will not respond correctly they will die.
Another seed of doubt that grew in me was the truth about Mr. Rogers. I could not imagine a finer person than he but he wasn't a Jehovah's Witness. Why wasn't he a JW? If he was a JW would he still have a show? I don't know. It was he who got me thinking the best thing to happen to good people in this system who won't give up their lives to the society is die. It is true. The JWs teach that anyone alive when the judgement is here who have rejected God's representative will die. So why are we going house to house finding people who are afaid to die when I knew the scriptures say:
He who loves his own soul is not worthy of me
They do love death
He who will save his own soul will lose it
I also stayed thinking that there were others in the congregation like me who were hungry for the real truth that sets one free. So I did not leave. It was not obvious to me that anyone else had doubts. Doubts you learn to bury. There was one young sister who confessed to me her doubt about recording time spent in the ministry. I told her she is right. It is wrong.
Why is it wrong? It creates class distinctions. That was another contention I had. If two JWs are having a dispute the brothers will always favor the one who works more. I have never tested that, but I experienced it first hand and I think it almost always happens that way. That is not why I left even though all JWs on line assert that it is.
The reason why I finally left is the brothers told me face to face it is the govern body we obey. I know for sure it is Jehovah God I obey.
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